a woman comes home to find a tiger
variations
A woman comes home to find a tiger has eaten her husband.
“You have eaten my husband!” she screams, spitting at the tiger.
“I have eaten your husband,” the tiger agreed. “His flesh is part of me now, and him and I are forever intertwined. To spit on me is to spit on your husband.”
The woman embraced the tiger, and laid with him that night.
The next day, he ate her too.
A woman comes home to find a tiger has eaten her husband.
“You have eaten my husband!” she screams, spitting at the tiger.
“I have not eaten your husband,” the tiger disagreed. “The man you married was dead long ago, for much time has passed since then, and he was no longer the same man he once was.”
The woman thanked the tiger, walked away, and mourned her long-dead husband.
A woman comes home to find a tiger has eaten her husband.
“You have eaten my husband!” she screams, spitting at the tiger.
“I have not eaten your husband,” the tiger disagreed. “His flesh tasted greatly of potato, due to his dedicated following of the exclusively eat boiled potatoes diet. I spat it out without swallowing.”
A woman comes home to find a tiger has eaten her husband.
“You have eaten my husband!” she screams, spitting at the tiger.
“I have eaten your husband,” the tiger agreed. “His flesh is part of me now, and him and I are forever intertwined. Perhaps you could consider us as brothers.”
The tiger paused and looked up at the woman. “But you have not performed the chalitzah correctly. According to the Torah, you must remove my sandal in front of the town elders before spitting at me. If you remarry without performing the ceremony properly, you will be an adulterer unto Mosaic Law.”
The woman had a change of heart, embraced her brother-in-law, and laid with him that night.
The next day, he ate her too.
A woman comes home to find her husband has eaten a tiger.
A woman comes home to find a tiger has eaten her husband.
“You have eaten my husband!” she screams, spitting at the tiger.
“I have eaten your husband,” the tiger agreed. “His flesh is part of me now, and him and I are forever intertwined. To spit on me is to spit on your husband.”
“Hocus pocus!” exclaimed the woman. “My husband would never object to my spitting on him!”
A woman comes home to find a tiger has eaten her husband.
“Praise be to God!” the woman exclaimed. “Finally, I can be rid of that horrid man, and live my life in peace.”
A woman comes home to find a tiger has eaten her husband.
“You have eaten my husband!” she screams, spitting at the tiger.
“I have eaten your husband,” the tiger agreed. “It was a moment of weakness. I was starving, and in his indifference towards his fellow Earthling he refused to share even a bite of his dinner with me. I could not help myself. I am ashamed, and have sworn to never do it again. I can only beg for your forgiveness.”
The woman embraced the tiger and forgave him.
The next day, he ate her too.
A woman comes home to find a tiger has eaten her husband.
“You have eaten my husband!” she screams, spitting at the tiger.
The tiger did not understand what she was saying, for he was a tiger. And even if he had understood, he would not care, for he was still hungry.
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